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Best Journal In The Universe
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| Crash and Burn |
[Dec. 25th, 2006|07:37 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  silly | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Nick Lachey - whats left of me (its on tv in the background) | ] |
I tend to get my self into really funny sitcome-escue senarios. I've simply come to ecpect that from myself and lookward to when I can tell my grandkids.
It was sorta like that ^ =/ |
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| WTF?? Me updating?? |
[Jan. 13th, 2006|07:13 pm] |
I'm the laziest person in the world when it comes to these updates, I never know what to say, or I do but I always put off writing one and then never do it, so im gonna try keeping this thing updated again.
So whats been up with me as of late, I've been working alot ecspecially christmas time, but i spent pretty much all the money horrible at saving money i spend it all on small things so in the end it feels like i didnt actually get anything.
It was leahs bday on wednesday, we're going out to dinner tommorrow to celebrate, so it should be fun, I promised her the best day ever so i better keep my word lol. I heard clarkes having a bday thing though too but i dont know too much about it, if he is id feel bad not going so maybe ill stop by after dinner or call and wish him a happy bday
So today at work the strangest thing happened to me I was just standing there since it wasnt busy at all and it just hit me, harder than ever, What the hell am I doing? It just seems that the last few months I got so caught up in the smallest day to day things of life I forgot all the things that really made me happy, like helping ppl. I just got the biggest urge at that moment to do something on a kinda bigger scale, I dont know maybe volonteer somewhere or something, it sounds corny but stuff like that actuallly makes me happy and i guess i just forgot that lately. I kept thinking about it and it just seems like lifes a game and no matter what, if you pick playing it on a small level like just worry about what your gonna wear or buy next or on a larger level like helping things out globally, theres always gonna be barriers and challenges, so why not play the game of life on a bigger scale, im sure it would be more satisfying.
Also I decided im gonna get a tattoo soon, maybe monday. I'm not sure where though, its gonna be a single word in really nice script im thinking on my wrist or inside of arm. If i dont change my mind by then that is, I have the whole weekend to second guess my self. |
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| Anxiety Chokes me like Razorwire Pt.2 |
[Sep. 5th, 2005|11:41 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  optimistic | ] |
So I remember this same time last year, and I wrote down how I felt at this same time last year and what I wanted to do in the next year and I promised my self a year later Id look back and see if I've done those things, and see if Im still as uncertain as last year.
Well last year I was terrified of college, I was completly un prepared, I was sad b/c I thought I'd never see my friends anymore, I was scared b/c I was going to college for somethign I didn't even really wanna do. So I told my self this year Id find out who I was, what I wanted to do, things like that.
So its a year later and Ive found my self, I know what I wanna do, and now all thats left is to do it. Thats not to say it doesnt scare me though, up until yesturday morning I was terrified of it. I was scared I wouldn't be able to see Leah, everytime she said or did something really sweet id get so sad b/c Id start thinking about how we'd be seeign each other less, I was scared i wouldn't have the energy to do what I need to do, I was scared Id back away at the last moment, I was scared of going away for a whole year, but then I thought about not doing it, and I know id always regret it Id always know its what I really wanted to do. Id also realized my fear of not seeing the ppl i care about anymore is nuts b/c not matyter what I've always managed to find time for hanging out with my friends or whoever, so why would this be any different? It wouldn't.
So this feels like the exact opposite of last year, this time I can't wait. |
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| Changes |
[May. 24th, 2005|11:59 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  accomplished | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | tegan and sara - the first | ] |
Ok i decided to change some things aroudn with this lj to make it more interesting, first thing im making it friends only, 2nd I was talkign to someone last night and I came up with an idea for something a bit different and I think it would be interesting, changing into a dream journal, what do you think? If i do post non dream journals their gonan be alot less vague too. add me to be added. |
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| o boy |
[May. 23rd, 2005|07:39 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
so last night was soposed to be my sober night of the weekend and well, this morning i wake up at viktor/als .
it was pretty scary realizing im stillt here when i was soposed to be home hours ago, i had a prettyy good sleep though, the last thing i remember is clarke and victor sitting by me,but things worked out ok. best conversation with parents.
"Where the hell did you go???"
"um.. i fell asleep at my friends place b/c i took a nap and i got no sleep and i was really tired"
"Thats a lie"
"make me eggs"
"RICKY! Go make him eggs!"
i love how a.d.d my parents are its the greatest.
Thanks for an awesome weekend Al/Viktor you guys are the best! |
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| //Angels with dirty faces// |
[May. 16th, 2005|12:03 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  indescribable | ] |
Somethings been bugging me lately and I dont know what it is. I haven't felt like this in ages. |
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| bukowski is the man |
[Apr. 3rd, 2005|01:55 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
"question and answer"
he sat naked and drunk in a room of summer
night, running the blade of the knife
under his fingernails, smiling, thinking
of all the letters he had received
telling him that
the way he lived and wrote about
that--
it had kept them going when
all seemed
truly
hopeless.
putting the blade on the table, he
flicked it with a finger
and it whirled
in a flashing circle
under the light.
who the hell is going to save
me? he
thought.
as the knife stopped spinning
the answer came:
you're going to have to
save yourself.
still smiling,
a: he lit a
cigarette
b: he poured
another
drink
c: gave the blade
another
spin. |
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| Happiness by the kilowatt |
[Mar. 9th, 2005|08:33 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | greenday - holiday | ] |
So yesturday i get a random phone call at 10am and my dad bursts into my room telling me a brewery phoned and want me to come in. So his reaction of course is, "huh, why is a brewery calling you?" lol, but yeah it turns out clarke (who works at brewery), called b/c his driver got sick, so i got to come in and drive instead so it was me and clarke delivering beer to the masses, funnest job ever :).
Then is was off to margrets for random sober crazyness, we took pics and we look anything but sober but still, fun night. and she says to make a blog about her to yeah margret, she has an oinon sometimes and its fun to pet her.
Today pharma plus(at dufferin) calls me, which is odd b/c i work at cloverdale and other stores neverusually call, and gives me all these hours which is what i wanted becuase i needed more money lately. I almsot got a 2nd job but this is much more ocnveniant. wow, its amazing how stuff works out, though i gotta admit im kinda used to it now.
Atreyu stole everyone away today, but ah well ill scarlette on friday, everyone gooooooooo cmoooooooooon. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 2nd, 2005|04:05 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
Drink up, baby, stay up all night
The things you could do, you won't but you might
The potential you'll be that you'll never see
The promises you'll only make
Drink up with me now and forget all about the pressure of days
Do what i say and i'll make you okay and drive them away
The images stuck in your head
People you've been before that you don't want around anymore
That push and shove and won't bend to your will
I'll keep them still
Drink up, baby, look at the stars, i'll kiss you again
Between the bars where i'm seeing you
There with your hands in the air waiting to finally be caught
Drink up one more time and i'll make you mine
Keep you apart deep in my heart separate from the rest
Where i like you the best |
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| hey you |
[Feb. 18th, 2005|02:14 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | heavy.com stuff | ] |
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| stuffola |
[Feb. 5th, 2005|05:14 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | excited | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | the hives - die, alright | ] |
So last night I did alot of sittign and talking, me jc and jakub spent liek an hour doing just that parked ifnront of oskanas, we had nothign to do lol, then we went to pick up keddy and did the same parked at lakeshore, and at some point, somewhere around jc brushign his hair and having a mental breakdown, i realized i had a fun time. We also pigged out on pasta and cinnomon buns at night, yeah good times lol.
I planned to do karoke at first but couldnt get anyone to come and it wasnt really planned out so im going for next week.
so oksanas bday in like a few hours looks like fun
ok ig otta go on a crazy adventure now |
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| I drove by the fork in the road and went straight |
[Jan. 28th, 2005|12:11 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  hyper | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Jennifer Lopez- Get right (shutup :p) | ] |
Today was pretty fun, hung out with taryn and then went to joeys and watched some of office space but I had to leave early b/c early work tomorrow ugh, everyone seemed shocked i had to leave so early but yeah after waking up 10 min before starting last time, i dont want to take another chance.
Debaser show last night rocked, their so good, same with put the rifle down good times, im glad i got to get in b/c it was 19+. I should have baught a cd now that I look at it, ah well.
Vikors tommorrow, cant wait :) |
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| ugggghmmmmm ugh |
[Jan. 26th, 2005|02:38 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The Shins - Sillouettes | ] |
Today was an awesome day. I woke up at 12:30 so my whole day felt like it was shifted, but whatever it was cool, the night before I got little sleep so it all balanced out.
hmm yeah so I was really happy today, well actually lately, haha i even sang in the car, i like never sing. ever. it was fun haha :)
yeah thats my shitty short pointless snapshot entry. lick my balls :P |
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| Bright eyes Baby! |
[Jan. 22nd, 2005|12:54 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | energetic | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | jay z again hahaha | ] |
Ok so today I woke up and I promised Id be a certain way and I remembered and I was and im happy about it.
So, I saw bright eyes today, fuckign awesome show even if its the only band I saw (we missed the first 2) but whatever coner has a fuckign amazing voice. He played stuff mostly from his new album, I wish he played stuff I knew better, or from digital ash from a digital urn, but whatever still good shit.
Then went to meet the others at a pizza pizza, and went to a bar but they wouldnt serve me liqour b/c their big vagina faces, and um keddy was drunk haha, aw she felt bad about it so I reminded her about allt he stupid crap I do when I'm drunk and it seemed to do the trick.
Tommorrow no work hahah im sohappy i can sleep in and like do whatever I want god best feeling ever.
So yeah today was fun, gonna make tommorrow funner.
filet o fish boxes look weird. |
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| hmm |
[Jan. 21st, 2005|12:09 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | jay-z - my 1st song | ] |
I find it pretty amazing how I woke up today promising my self to be a certain way, but at the end of it all I was the complete opposite, its almost like I forget, I should write my self a reminder, but I guess im not sad about it, which is a change, now its kinda like hey whatever tommorrow is another day, at least you can notice whats wrong and understand how to fix it.
But there, thats my enigmatic how I feel portion of the update, now on to what I did, Went to value village today baught a blazer picked out by keddy, my awesome fashion advisor, personally i think its too teacher looking, but I trust her opinion, maybe illw ear it to bright eyes tommorrow, which is awesome i cant wait :), I decided I wont drink tommorrow so I actually enjoy the music. Its also xanas bday tommorrow, i gotta get her some kind of bday present, its gonna be hard figurign otu what she likes, ill get her somethign weird.
Barbara is sick I heard, I feel so bad b/c I knwo how much she would have lvoed to see bright eyes, gotta visit her and make her feel better sometime soon. |
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| an update?? oh heaven! |
[Jan. 10th, 2005|11:46 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | happy | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | old mdoest mouse | ] |
Im back!
I haven't updated this journal for a while, not becuase I had a lack of things to talk about but more b/c I'm lazy or dont need to talk about them. But hey now I do. So ill even try and make it long too. woo.
ok well, its a new year and I feel like such a different person, but in a good way. I worked alot during the xmas holidays fixed my car, have some extra cashola, told my parents about my little school drama, plan on getting a full tiem job at a wine rack. Things are really going good lately. I feel like im tieing up alot of the loose ends in my life right now, and its a really great feeling.
So went sledding today, so much fun gotta do that alot more often. yesturday went aroudn with a viking hat and a keyboard cortesy of keddy, gotta do that alot more too haha :P. Oh how shoppers drugmart loves us.
ok, thats all. um ill update this more i promise. my eyes hurt, good night. |
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| Swinglow stattelite, white hot charriot |
[Dec. 4th, 2004|01:23 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  Empty/Lonely | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | The happiest place on Earth - Desaparacedos | ] |
I dont feel quite my self today. Saw findign neverland, didnt liek it at first butlooking back it was good, not great but not bad. Hung out at viktors was fun. I feel like a shakeup, i dont wanna get stuck in a rut. At the same time I feel kinda alone, even though I;m not, im far from it. Guess its just one of those days. |
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