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Crash and Burn

Tue, 26 Dec 2006 02:37:23 GMT

I tend to get my self into really funny sitcome-escue senarios. I've simply come to ecpect that from myself and lookward to when I can tell my grandkids.

It was sorta like that ^ =/

WTF?? Me updating??

Sat, 14 Jan 2006 03:13:40 GMT

I'm the laziest person in the world when it comes to these updates, I never know what to say, or I do but I always put off writing one and then never do it, so im gonna try keeping this thing updated again.

So whats been up with me as of late, I've been working alot ecspecially christmas time, but i spent pretty much all the money horrible at saving money i spend it all on small things so in the end it feels like i didnt actually get anything.

It was leahs bday on wednesday, we're going out to dinner tommorrow to celebrate, so it should be fun, I promised her the best day ever so i better keep my word lol. I heard clarkes having a bday thing though too but i dont know too much about it, if he is id feel bad not going so maybe ill stop by after dinner or call and wish him a happy bday

So today at work the strangest thing happened to me I was just standing there since it wasnt busy at all and it just hit me, harder than ever, What the hell am I doing? It just seems that the last few months I got so caught up in the smallest day to day things of life I forgot all the things that really made me happy, like helping ppl. I just got the biggest urge at that moment to do something on a kinda bigger scale, I dont know maybe volonteer somewhere or something, it sounds corny but stuff like that actuallly makes me happy and i guess i just forgot that lately. I kept thinking about it and it just seems like lifes a game and no matter what, if you pick playing it on a small level like just worry about what your gonna wear or buy next or on a larger level like helping things out globally, theres always gonna be barriers and challenges, so why not play the game of life on a bigger scale, im sure it would be more satisfying.

Also I decided im gonna get a tattoo soon, maybe monday. I'm not sure where though, its gonna be a single word in really nice script im thinking on my wrist or inside of arm. If i dont change my mind by then that is, I have the whole weekend to second guess my self.

Anxiety Chokes me like Razorwire Pt.2

Mon, 05 Sep 2005 15:42:10 GMT

So I remember this same time last year, and I wrote down how I felt at this same time last year and what I wanted to do in the next year and I promised my self a year later Id look back and see if I've done those things, and see if Im still as uncertain as last year.

Well last year I was terrified of college, I was completly un prepared, I was sad b/c I thought I'd never see my friends anymore, I was scared b/c I was going to college for somethign I didn't even really wanna do. So I told my self this year Id find out who I was, what I wanted to do, things like that.

So its a year later and Ive found my self, I know what I wanna do, and now all thats left is to do it. Thats not to say it doesnt scare me though, up until yesturday morning I was terrified of it. I was scared I wouldn't be able to see Leah, everytime she said or did something really sweet id get so sad b/c Id start thinking about how we'd be seeign each other less, I was scared i wouldn't have the energy to do what I need to do, I was scared Id back away at the last moment, I was scared of going away for a whole year, but then I thought about not doing it, and I know id always regret it Id always know its what I really wanted to do. Id also realized my fear of not seeing the ppl i care about anymore is nuts b/c not matyter what I've always managed to find time for hanging out with my friends or whoever, so why would this be any different? It wouldn't.

So this feels like the exact opposite of last year, this time I can't wait.

Changes

Tue, 24 May 2005 16:01:30 GMT

Ok i decided to change some things aroudn with this lj to make it more interesting, first thing im making it friends only, 2nd I was talkign to someone last night and I came up with an idea for something a bit different and I think it would be interesting, changing into a dream journal, what do you think? If i do post non dream journals their gonan be alot less vague too. add me to be added.

o boy

Mon, 23 May 2005 11:44:14 GMT

so last night was soposed to be my sober night of the weekend and well, this morning i wake up at viktor/als .
it was pretty scary realizing im stillt here when i was soposed to be home hours ago, i had a prettyy good sleep though, the last thing i remember is clarke and victor sitting by me,but things worked out ok. best conversation with parents.

"Where the hell did you go???"
"um.. i fell asleep at my friends place b/c i took a nap and i got no sleep and i was really tired"
"Thats a lie"
"make me eggs"
"RICKY! Go make him eggs!"

i love how a.d.d my parents are its the greatest.

Thanks for an awesome weekend Al/Viktor you guys are the best!

//Angels with dirty faces//

Mon, 16 May 2005 04:04:35 GMT

Somethings been bugging me lately and I dont know what it is. I haven't felt like this in ages.

Im comfortobly confused, youve gotten so removed

Thu, 07 Apr 2005 05:31:17 GMT

Thats it, im convinced. I live in a soap opera. I accept it.

bukowski is the man

Sun, 03 Apr 2005 06:57:06 GMT

"question and answer"

he sat naked and drunk in a room of summer
night, running the blade of the knife
under his fingernails, smiling, thinking
of all the letters he had received
telling him that
the way he lived and wrote about
that--
it had kept them going when
all seemed
truly
hopeless.

putting the blade on the table, he
flicked it with a finger
and it whirled
in a flashing circle
under the light.

who the hell is going to save
me? he
thought.

as the knife stopped spinning
the answer came:
you're going to have to
save yourself.

still smiling,
a: he lit a
cigarette
b: he poured
another
drink
c: gave the blade
another
spin.

Happiness by the kilowatt

Thu, 10 Mar 2005 01:40:23 GMT

So yesturday i get a random phone call at 10am and my dad bursts into my room telling me a brewery phoned and want me to come in. So his reaction of course is, "huh, why is a brewery calling you?" lol, but yeah it turns out clarke (who works at brewery), called b/c his driver got sick, so i got to come in and drive instead so it was me and clarke delivering beer to the masses, funnest job ever :).

Then is was off to margrets for random sober crazyness, we took pics and we look anything but sober but still, fun night. and she says to make a blog about her to yeah margret, she has an oinon sometimes and its fun to pet her.

Today pharma plus(at dufferin) calls me, which is odd b/c i work at cloverdale and other stores neverusually call, and gives me all these hours which is what i wanted becuase i needed more money lately. I almsot got a 2nd job but this is much more ocnveniant. wow, its amazing how stuff works out, though i gotta admit im kinda used to it now.

Atreyu stole everyone away today, but ah well ill scarlette on friday, everyone gooooooooo cmoooooooooon.

Wed, 02 Mar 2005 21:07:26 GMT

Drink up, baby, stay up all night
The things you could do, you won't but you might
The potential you'll be that you'll never see
The promises you'll only make
Drink up with me now and forget all about the pressure of days
Do what i say and i'll make you okay and drive them away
The images stuck in your head
People you've been before that you don't want around anymore
That push and shove and won't bend to your will
I'll keep them still
Drink up, baby, look at the stars, i'll kiss you again
Between the bars where i'm seeing you
There with your hands in the air waiting to finally be caught
Drink up one more time and i'll make you mine
Keep you apart deep in my heart separate from the rest
Where i like you the best

hey you

Fri, 18 Feb 2005 07:15:36 GMT

*TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey*
Name:	Rich
Birthday:	march 1st 86
Current Location:	My room
Eye Color:	blue/green/grey/brown
Hair Color:	black/orange
Height:	tall
Right Handed or Left Handed:	right
Your Heritage:	hungarian/spanish
The Shoes You Wore Today:	dcs
Your Weakness:	my decisions
Your Fears:	becoming homeless
Your Perfect Pizza:	pepporni/mushroom/greenpepper/extra chees/extra sauce
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	realize what i wanna do with my life, be happy
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	lmao
Thoughts First Waking Up:	wait.... this isnt the ymca?!!
Your Best Physical Feature:	my um.. hair or eyes
Your Bedtime:	whenever i want
Your Most Missed Memory:	summer
Pepsi or Coke:	pepsi
MacDonalds or Burger King:	mcdonalds
Single or Group Dates:	single
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla:	vanilla b/c imb ored of choclate
Cappuccino or Coffee:	ugh neither, tea
Do you Smoke:	sometimes
Do you Swear:	fuck shit ass bitch cunt shooba di doowop
Do you Sing:	only in my car by my self
Do you Shower Daily:	yeah
Have you Been in Love:	yeah
Do you want to go to College:	yeah
Do you want to get Married:	yeah
Do you belive in yourself:	hell yeah
Do you get Motion Sickness:	on air planes
Do you think you are Attractive:	yeah
Are you a Health Freak:	some what
Do you get along with your Parents:	some what
Do you like Thunderstorms:	yes
Do you play an Instrument:	guitar
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	yeah right now but not that often
In the past month have you Smoked:	yes
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	nope
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	nooo someone take my out :P
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	ugh yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	noooo someone get me a box of oreos too
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	ditto
In the past month have you been on Stage:	nope
In the past month have you been Dumped:	nope
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	nope
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	nope
Ever been Drunk:	yes
Ever been called a Tease:	yes
Ever been Beaten up:	nope
Ever Shoplifted:	nope
How do you want to Die:	Saving someone elses life
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	wish i knew
What country would you most like to Visit:	germany
*In a Boy/Girl..*
Favourite Eye Color:	blue
Favourite Hair Color:	brown
Short or Long Hair:	long
Height:	5 something
Weight:	um.. i dont know
Best Clothing Style:	like crazy euro rocker look
Number of Drugs I have taken:	weed a long time ago
Number of CDs I own:	donno
Number of Piercings:	none
Number of Tattoos:	none
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	i never regret anything, i try to learn from it
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

stuffola

Sat, 05 Feb 2005 22:20:55 GMT

So last night I did alot of sittign and talking, me jc and jakub spent liek an hour doing just that parked ifnront of oskanas, we had nothign to do lol, then we went to pick up keddy and did the same parked at lakeshore, and at some point, somewhere around jc brushign his hair and having a mental breakdown, i realized i had a fun time. We also pigged out on pasta and cinnomon buns at night, yeah good times lol.

I planned to do karoke at first but couldnt get anyone to come and it wasnt really planned out so im going for next week.

so oksanas bday in like a few hours looks like fun

ok ig otta go on a crazy adventure now

I drove by the fork in the road and went straight

Sat, 29 Jan 2005 05:16:30 GMT

Today was pretty fun, hung out with taryn and then went to joeys and watched some of office space but I had to leave early b/c early work tomorrow ugh, everyone seemed shocked i had to leave so early but yeah after waking up 10 min before starting last time, i dont want to take another chance.

Debaser show last night rocked, their so good, same with put the rifle down good times, im glad i got to get in b/c it was 19+. I should have baught a cd now that I look at it, ah well.

Vikors tommorrow, cant wait :)

ugggghmmmmm ugh

Thu, 27 Jan 2005 07:44:18 GMT

Today was an awesome day. I woke up at 12:30 so my whole day felt like it was shifted, but whatever it was cool, the night before I got little sleep so it all balanced out.

hmm yeah so I was really happy today, well actually lately, haha i even sang in the car, i like never sing. ever. it was fun haha :)

yeah thats my shitty short pointless snapshot entry. lick my balls :P

Bright eyes Baby!

Sat, 22 Jan 2005 06:00:20 GMT

Ok so today I woke up and I promised Id be a certain way and I remembered and I was and im happy about it.

So, I saw bright eyes today, fuckign awesome show even if its the only band I saw (we missed the first 2) but whatever coner has a fuckign amazing voice. He played stuff mostly from his new album, I wish he played stuff I knew better, or from digital ash from a digital urn, but whatever still good shit.

Then went to meet the others at a pizza pizza, and went to a bar but they wouldnt serve me liqour b/c their big vagina faces, and um keddy was drunk haha, aw she felt bad about it so I reminded her about allt he stupid crap I do when I'm drunk and it seemed to do the trick.

Tommorrow no work hahah im sohappy i can sleep in and like do whatever I want god best feeling ever.

So yeah today was fun, gonna make tommorrow funner.

filet o fish boxes look weird.

hmm

Fri, 21 Jan 2005 05:18:12 GMT

I find it pretty amazing how I woke up today promising my self to be a certain way, but at the end of it all I was the complete opposite, its almost like I forget, I should write my self a reminder, but I guess im not sad about it, which is a change, now its kinda like hey whatever tommorrow is another day, at least you can notice whats wrong and understand how to fix it.

But there, thats my enigmatic how I feel portion of the update, now on to what I did, Went to value village today baught a blazer picked out by keddy, my awesome fashion advisor, personally i think its too teacher looking, but I trust her opinion, maybe illw ear it to bright eyes tommorrow, which is awesome i cant wait :), I decided I wont drink tommorrow so I actually enjoy the music. Its also xanas bday tommorrow, i gotta get her some kind of bday present, its gonna be hard figurign otu what she likes, ill get her somethign weird.

Barbara is sick I heard, I feel so bad b/c I knwo how much she would have lvoed to see bright eyes, gotta visit her and make her feel better sometime soon.

an update?? oh heaven!

Tue, 11 Jan 2005 04:59:49 GMT

Im back!

I haven't updated this journal for a while, not becuase I had a lack of things to talk about but more b/c I'm lazy or dont need to talk about them. But hey now I do. So ill even try and make it long too. woo.

ok well, its a new year and I feel like such a different person, but in a good way. I worked alot during the xmas holidays fixed my car, have some extra cashola, told my parents about my little school drama, plan on getting a full tiem job at a wine rack. Things are really going good lately. I feel like im tieing up alot of the loose ends in my life right now, and its a really great feeling.

So went sledding today, so much fun gotta do that alot more often. yesturday went aroudn with a viking hat and a keyboard cortesy of keddy, gotta do that alot more too haha :P. Oh how shoppers drugmart loves us.

ok, thats all. um ill update this more i promise. my eyes hurt, good night.

Swinglow stattelite, white hot charriot

Sat, 04 Dec 2004 06:28:38 GMT

I dont feel quite my self today. Saw findign neverland, didnt liek it at first butlooking back it was good, not great but not bad. Hung out at viktors was fun. I feel like a shakeup, i dont wanna get stuck in a rut. At the same time I feel kinda alone, even though I;m not, im far from it. Guess its just one of those days.

I've got a broken neck sense of mortality, It clashes with your blood lust sentimentality

Thu, 02 Dec 2004 04:38:56 GMT

I went
D
O
W
N
town today and it was fun, and I baught bright eyes tickets, and saw pretty lights they strobes and flashed and were awesome. Tommorrow ppl will get a random visit and I might stop by a church. Fun fun =D

This makes me laugh

Tue, 30 Nov 2004 16:54:32 GMT

I CHANGE MY MIND TOO MUCH!

Tue, 30 Nov 2004 05:19:29 GMT

the wilted flowers that i gave
were not as nice as your bouqet
all the lyrics that i wrote
not as smart as the words you spoke
the starlight above my hometown
aint as bright as the star ive found
every drawing that i drew
was never ever as cute as you <3

...

Sun, 28 Nov 2004 06:56:11 GMT

OK! I've made up my mind and im sticking to it. no more uncertenty i know what I want for shizzies. wish me luck?

Brighteyes

Thu, 25 Nov 2004 06:18:24 GMT

night of pasta and hairstraightening, awesome-o. New bright eyes is amazing Mad props to mah nigga john.

Now I do as I please and lie through my teeth. Someone might get hurt but it won't be me. I should probably feel cheap but I just feel free and a little bit empty. No it isn't so hard to get close to me. There will be no arguments. We will always agree. And I will try and be kind when I ask you to leave. We will both take it easy.

=D

Wed, 24 Nov 2004 22:13:25 GMT

Some ppl can just put me in the best mood ever :D

Quiz!

Sat, 20 Nov 2004 16:27:17 GMT

1. Full name: Richard Rico

2. Nickname(s): sketchard

3. Eyes: brown grey or blue usually blue

4. Height: no idea, 5'9 maybe?

5. Hair: black with brown stuff coming in from b4

7. Do u like to sing in the shower? nope

8. Do u like to sing on the toilet? ahaha no

9. Birthday: march 1st ill be 19, gonna pick up ppl in bars =D

10. Sign: Picses and i fit the bill perfectly

11. Address?: 123 fake st

13. Righty or lefty: righty

14. What do you want in a relationship most?: making out

15. Have you ever cheated?: nope

16. Do you have a car?: yeah

18.What kind of car do you have/want?: 96 eagle vision

Favourite...

19. Movie/s: requiem

21. Band/singer: my chemical romance right now

22. TV Shows: family guy

24. Actor/s: christopher reeves nah... um guy from requiem??

25. Food: cantonese chow mien or water melons

26. Number/s: 7

27. Letter/s: x

28. Cartoon: family guy

30. Color/s: black,blue and brown

31. Do you plan on having children: never!

33. How old do you wanna be when you have your first child: dead

34. How old do you wanna be when your married: 25

36. Do you have a b/f or g/f: no :(

37. Do you have a crush? yes but ull never know, unless u already do ahahaha

EITHER-OR (PICK WHICH ONE YOU PREFER)

38. Music/TV: music

39. Guys/Girls: girls

40. Green/Blue: blue

41. Pink/Purple: pink

42. Summer/Winter: summer

43. Night/Day: night

44. Hangin Out/Chillin: hangin out

45. Dopey/Funny: funny .. wtf dopey fuck the seven dwarfs

46. Weird saying I have: ahah everythign that comes out of my mouth, mostly the hobo killign stuff

47. What school do u go to?: george brown *wink*

48. Have you ever taken drugs?: yeah

49. What's a major turn on for you?: someone whos unique *drools*

50. How far would you go on a first date?: 3rd base, yes im a man slut shutup lol

52. Which 6 people do you trust and are open with the most? Keddy,Bar,Clarke,Jc Im not open or trustign with most ppl :P

53. What do you think of soul mates? believe in them

55. What was the last thing you cried over or got teary about? dont knwo its been a while

57. Are you happy?: yeah =D

58. Why?: Im not thinking about all the bad, ignorance is bliss

60. Love or lust: LUST

63. Sunset or sunrise: sunset

64. Have you ever gone skinny dipping: nope

65. Do you sleep with stuffed animals: no but i have this small pillow i always had since iw as born and i call it parna ahaha

66. Do you have any piercings: nope

67. What color underpants are you wearing right now? none wooo!

68. What song are u listening to right now?: mindless self indulgence - bed of roses

69. digits of your phone number: pss gotta use a better line than that to get my number

70. Where would you want to go on your honeymoon?: bed

71. Who do u want to spend the rest of your life with?: dont know

72. What do u notice first about a guy/girl?: hair,eyes and smile. bascially their head ahaha

73. Favorite sport?: profesional hobo killing

74. What makes you happy?: sunny days, friends, tryign to makeout with ppl

75. What's the next CD(s) you're gonna get?: dont buy cds
76. Do u wear contacts or glasses?: contacts

77. The best advice given to you?: never regret anything

78. Have u ever won any special awards?: no

79. What are your future goals?: be happy

80. Worst sickness u ever had?: almost died many a time but not from illness

81. Do you like Funny or Scary movies better? SCARY

82. the phone or in person?: in person!

83. Hugs or kisses?: kisses

84. What song seems to reflect you the most?: hmm thats hard, dont know sooowy

85. If you died tomorrow who would you leave everything you own to?: id divide it amogn my friends

86. Have u ever been so upset u cant remember anything? no

87. What is your greatest fear?: being alone

88. Are you getting fed up with this survey?: kinda its takign me an hour ahaha

89. What time is it in Albania now?: 26:25

90. Have you ever been in love?: maybe

91. Have you met Santa?: yup, then i found out santa wears the same ring as my dad

92. If E.T. knocked on your door holding up a peace sign and asked you to use your phone, what would you d0?: knock him out, put it in my trunk and randomly show ppl

93. Last time you talked to the person that you like/love was?: yesterday

94. Do u have any pets?: no i have 0 cats i am normal hehe

95. What's your email address?: ti_clan@hotmail.com

96. Last time you were depressed was?: a couple days ago

97. Are you an alcoholic?: hmaybe

98. Who sent this to you?: barbara

99. What do you think of this person?: she's awesome!

100. Do u want your friends to re-post this?: DO IT!